Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous 10

Mar. 4th, 2016


Are singles looking for love or someone to help them financially?

Jan. 9th, 2016


Getting Your Finances In Order (before marriage) w/ @TrettaBush

Dec. 10th, 2015


Com 207 Final Speech- Self Love

To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance. This was a quote I shared on my Facebook back in October 2011 as I captioned it aww. Even though I had no clue what this quote meant, I just shared it because I thought it would look cute on my timeline. But since the posting of my Oscar Wilde quote and the time I've re-shared it on my Facebook, I've learned to genuinely love myself as a person inside and out. 

First of all, genuinely loving yourself as a person will help you become more confident. According to Psychology Today, self love builds confidence and will power. I can totally vouch for this because Ever since I started loving myself, I have built the confidence to do things I would have never imagined I'd be able to do. For instance, I'm not afraid of traveling alone, going to the movies alone, going out to dinner alone, or asking men out on dates, even though some people are still stuck on making men make the first move. I consider myself a risk taker. I feel that my confidence has also helped me network when I've gone places such as concerts and I already have a couple jobs lined up for when I graduate from Central. I'm not afraid to do these things because in the end, we regret the things that we didn't do. 

According to the inner Buddha dot com, self love will help you accept the person you are in which you'll be more likely to learn to take care of yourself. I now know that I have control of my life and of myself internally and externally. I have started making small step changes to better my mental and my physical health. It's all about baby steps. Little by little. When I started learning to love myself and accepting the person that I am, I accepted that I am a concert goer who loves alternative and indie rock music and Star Wars. I feel that because of this, I started making genuine friends and even with famous musicians who like me for me. For instance, I'm friends with my favorite band. If someone who had told me five years ago, when I discovered their music, that is be friends with them someday, I wouldn't have believed them. I live a very abnormal life but I'm ok with that. I've learned to accept my abnormal life because I love my life. I'm in love with my life. To some people, it may look like I'm living in a fantasy world, only this is my reality.

Not everyone you meet in life is going to like you but it's important that we learn to love ourselves because in the end, we really only have our self.

And last but not least, like the old saying says, "love yourself before anyone else does." How else do you expect for someone to love you if you can't love yourself? Self love is the key to finding true love. According to Tom Rabak, the happiest professor on campus, a psychology professor at Central Washington University, when individuals sincerely care and love their inner selves, they can then share the happiness with others. Self love also involves the process of continual reflection through critical thinking and incorporating the qualitative notion of mindfulness. Loving one's self is a challenge and often people avoid new possibilities, but we will never know unless we try, right? 

Now I know what you maybe thinking, it's easier said than done which is true. But if you don't love yourself, I would give self love a shot. Just know that it's not going to happen overnight. You won't magically wake up one day and love yourself, it's going to take time. It's a journey. Maybe start off by taking a good look at yourself in the mirror in your natural beauty. I know that I can actually take a good look in the mirror, and I actually like what I see but I also know that I have the power to change. It's taken me years to get to where I am today. And this is coming from someone who was angry at the world and hated themselves so much, they thought about committing suicide. But what stopped me was actually this album. I feel like that is one of the reasons I was able to learn to love myself. By surrounding myself with positive vibes and people and getting lost in the music. But I can guarantee you, that once you genuinely learn to love yourself inside and out, you'll be able to find true happiness along the way. Now go out and spread the happiness. And have no fear, because we're still here.  

Aug. 13th, 2015

frozen love bubbles


(no subject)

This place seems a bit dead, but I thought I would attempt anyways.

Wondering if anyone could share some insight into what it is like to be friends with an ex.
Honestly I'm just looking for good stories and even ones where you got back together.
How it was to heal and restitch the relationship.
Just looking for happy endings :)

Apr. 20th, 2015


Stay or Nay?

There's a bit too many details and backstory to be able to put here for super accurate advice, but I figured I'd try and ask for some anyway.

My boyfriend told me he didn't love me today. He has his reasons (I've passive agressively verbally attacked him several times, and cut off the relationship once). To him it's worthwhile to be with someone he doesn't love. I am not sure if it is worth it to me. I love him, and I want to be the kind of person that can be with someone one-sidedly. Their are no other problems aside from this that I am aware. We have fun. We like each other most of the time. I feel that if I could love myself enough for it not to matter that he loves me...it'd be perfect, no?

However, I'd come to a realization that perhaps being with someone who doesn't love me is not a situation in which I could love myself. He likes me well enough, but...Would it be self abusive to stay in a relationship where the other part does not love me? It would be hypocrital of me to say the least, I believe, considering I would not be with him if I did not love him. Is it wrong to be a hypocrite in that way? Can I attemt to chill out and not care about the fact that he doesn't love me so much, as long as he likes me well enough? Or is leaving the only way?

For now I've told him the former, that I want it to not matter so much to me if he loves me or not. I've told him I will stay in the relationship while I try to change my thinking, because I believe thinking that way would be independently...convenient (not quite the word I was looking for, but my vocabulary is quite limited). I've also told him I might not be able to change, but we'll see how it goes. He agreed. He is content with everything but the verbal abuse.

I just don't know. I can't sleep, and I'm going to be dwelling on this for a few days at least, I know it. Any advice would help. Even if I don't agree, I would like some outside viewpoints. Thank you.

Mar. 15th, 2015


Almost 10 years to the day...

I'll be seeing my first ex-girlfriend for the first time in almost ten years. She was invited to a party through a mutual friend who is in town. It ended in probably the worst, messiest and catastrophic way... for me. It's her fault and she knows that. I won't get into it but I do know that it will be awkward no matter how long it's been. I'm dreadful of the "who's more successful now" dance. I already know my life has ended up quite well. I've accomplished so much. In those ten years, I graduated from college, got a great job, in the best physical shape of my life and traveled the world and around it quite literally. The way things are going, I see my life getting even better in the future. While I don't have a girlfriend, I don't feel like I need to give her any information regarding that. It's hard to find someone that wants to travel the world like I do but I'll take a trip and forget all about it.

I'm propbably making it out to be more that it will be. We'll probably only greet and not speak again until one leaves. However it ends up, this coming weekend I'll be in Guadalajara, Mexico overlooking Lake Chapala and enjoying some awesome Mexican food and drink while relaxing. I've said it many times on my Twitter account that life is pretty damn good for me.

Jan. 8th, 2015


please help me...marriage advice

I just feel so alone. My wife and I used to be inseparable and she used to cry if we had to be apart. Now she is picking up more and more shifts and I see her less and less. I've been suicidal for about a month now, I've told her I am suicidal. She knows I have the gun. She knows I have a plan. She also found a noose I had made. She's a nurse and she is doing nothing to try to help or make me feel better. Not even a hug. We don't touch anymore. We have been together for over 3 years and just a few months ago things just changed. I haven't changed, she has. I am fairly convinced there is someone else even though she says there isn't. She leaves for work earlier and earlier and comes home later and later. One day she came home 3 hours later and wasn't responding to texts or calls. When I asked her why she said she had been stopped by her manager on the way out and got to talking and she didnt want to be rude and text in front of her while she was talking. I asked her if she realized now how I always feel like I am not important? She said yes.
Our one year anniversary for being married was New Years day and we were supposed to go see the lights and go to dinner. She slept for 32 hours instead. Her birthday was a few days later and she worked the night before and the night of. She texts me when she got off and said that she was going to get breakfast with her coworkers before she left. She had asked to cuddle when she got home before all of this happened and I cancelled my study groups to make that happen since it was her birthday. She ended up coming home and going straight to bed.
At 3am I sent her a long text message just laying out how I felt. Asking why she didn't ask me if I wanted to get breakfast with her on her birthday. Just told her how I felt. I had seen a couple at Starbucks that night and they were just like how me and her used to be. They were making me angry because I want what they have. The way they looked at each other is the way she used to look at me. How they acted is how we used to be. My heart was breaking throughout my study session and I couldn't leave so I had to try to ignore them and their 'I love you's the whole time. I told her about that incident. She ignored all of my texts and still has yet to respond. She's gotten up for a second and I asked her if she was getting up now and she said no, in a few hours when she gets up for work. I guess she's doing days today...We were supposed to get dinner together but that didn't happen. I thought maybe it would happen tonight instead but she won't be home until late. Yet another plan that doesn't work out.
I left the house at 11pm tonight and drove until 2am. She didn't even notice I was gone. I come home and basically stared at the walls. After I get done writing this I will go back to doing the same thing. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to just take the gun and end it. I have no family. I have no friends since we just moved out of state. I have no one. I am literally alone. I'm always alone anymore. How do I make her love me again? Why did she change so drastically? What do I do about her always being late and me being suspicious that there is someone else. She's mentally checked out. Now she is physically checking out. I have been emotionally abandoned. We haven't had sex in a few months now either. She used to be addicted to me. She used to always want to make love. Now she says she doesn't "have to have it" or doesn't "need" it. I told her its not about needing anything. It's about sharing that deep connection together. It's about losing track of time and everything else and just focusing on each other. I am so lonely and desire human interaction so badly. I want someone to want to touch me. I want to feel loved and appreciated. I want to be happy.
She is always on her phone when we are together. There is no conversation between us anymore. Upon reflecting today I realized that when I told her I was suicidal and trying to stay in control and asked why she acts like she doesn't care that I have the gun and she doesn't try to find it she said if you really wanted to it wouldn't matter because you still have all the pills...Today I realized that she just gave me another option to kill myself. That was her response. No asking why I wanted to or how I felt or anything. It made my stomach tie in knots.
Why does everyone in my life abandon me? Why am I not worth keeping around? I gave her everything, bought her any diamond she wanted, we just bought a house together. I'm broke now and have no job because I am waiting to take my nursing boards and can't find a job here because times are so tough. She hasn't been helping with any of the bills and all the money I had saved is gone. I test at the end of the month and hope I pass so I can start working and make money to help pay the bills and get caught up. We never even argue about money. I'm not like that.
When she had to move a few weeks earlier than me because I had to finish school she decided to buy herself $2000 worth of diamonds before she left home. We had just bought a house and hadn't closed yet and you aren't supposed to make big purchases like that before closing and she does it anyway. I didn't find out till later. She also had gotten a Marina put in for birth control after we had talked about her not doing that. She went behind my back and did it anyway then told me about it after. I had caught her in the past talking to someone behind my back. There's been some shit. I have loved her through all of the bs. I don't buy myself anything, much less $2000 pieces of jewelry. She is always getting packages in the mail, she is always buying stuff. I really need help with my car payments but there is no money left by the time she gets it it is gone.
I gave her the Love Dare book to do and she said she was reading it and doing it daily. She had left it on the kitchen table and I had taken it back when she said that so I know she was lying but I didn't say anything about it. I let it go. I think she thought that book was a self reflective type of thing but it's not. It's doing things for your spouse to make them feel appreciated and shit...So I am not even worth the time of a 5 second gesture or an I love you.
I keep saying there has to be something that happened that made her change but I can't honestly find anything. Nothing has changed. We have been fine. That is why I think there is someone else. It's the only thing that makes sense. I will kill myself if there is. She is literally all I have in this world.

Oct. 23rd, 2014


3 Answers To The Question: What Do Women Want?

1.  We want to be desired.
When we know that someone loves us, wants us of all his body and soul, we feel a surge of energy and strength, which we thought we were not able to have before. Beloved person is always on the side of his woman, he is her support and strength. Then we, women feel stability, and it is an indescribable feeling.
We like when you, man call us, write , are interested in all the details and minutiae of our lived day. How important it is to have someone to whom we can turn when we feel bad and lonely.
2. The women need a friend.
The most important aspect of a romantic relationship - is, above all, a sense of necessity, but the relationship will not be real, and will never advance if people don't begin to listen to and hear each other.
3 We want to feel special.
If a man really loves his woman, he will show it to her. He'll convince this by any means: bestowing flowers, candy, chocolate, icecream,   sweets  (and not just on holidays), giving attention to, and even if the whole day he is busy, he'll find a minute of his time, and write her "I love you. "
Men can enjoy their actions, because by doing what they like, they delight their women. In the end, they will have common traditions and interests.

what do women want

Feb. 17th, 2014


Please Check Out My New Journal 365 Days A Newlywed!

I am seeking comments, input and support, and help with Live Journal I am new at using it LOL.


Feb. 5th, 2014


Did I Really Do Something Wrong?????

All I want to know is if anyone sees, in any of these messages, me being rude, nasty, etc.

I was questioned by him the other day about the accusations put against me. I'm honestly at my wits end & even though they are "his friends" I do have to deal with them & maybe even sacrifice time with him because of them. I just want to clear this up & most importantly clear my name. I have never lied to him before, I never would & my facebook messages don't lie either since one can't delete a certain section of a facebook thread without deleting the entire thing. I need some advice on how to approach the subject without getting into another fight.

This is EXACTLY has it appears. I haven't fixed it in anyway, shape or form except for putting our conversation in Italic's & who sent the message in bold. Please tell me if in anyway this may have come off offensive, or nasty, or threatening. I need to know if I am in the wrong.........

November 8, 2013

November 28, 2013

11/28, 12:34am


Dana whats going on?

11/28, 1:37am

I'm sorry Heather, I didn't mean to ignore you, it wasn't my intention. I just couldn't talk to anyone at the time you messaged me. I've reached the end of my rope & I have no way of releasing all this bottled up pain & anger. My family, our situation, extended family who looks right through us, me, it's everything.... Greg, he's all I have that has kept me smiling & now I feel that I've let him down if not broken him. Everything was going so well, things were getting better just as I met him & then things go so much worse & this time, I just can't handle it. Now I'm questioning whether or not I'm good enough for him & if I'm what he needs. I've never had anything to call my own, not without having to pay a high price. Nor have I ever had someone love me as much as Greg. Now that I have all that & then some, I feel that, for a man like Greg, he deserves better, someone stronger, someone who hasn't been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders since the age of four .... earlier. All I have to offer, it seems, is more burden. I don't want to lose him, I love him, but I don't know how I can be any good for him, especially like this. He needs someone strong, someone who can help him through all the pain & the battles he has to fight.

11/28, 1:56am

He's all I ever wanted, he really is & I love him more then I've ever loved anyone. I would give anything & everything I owned just for his happiness, especially because he has brought me so much happiness in the past few months then I could have ever imagined getting in a single lifetime. He's changed my world, he's changed me & all for the better. He shouldn't have to deal with someone who has no place in society as voted by the majority of society. There is no help for my family, we've done everything, everything & each time we get close, we're pushed back into "our place" I know how some people feel about our talk of wanting to spend the rest of our lives together, but I know he's the one. We have this special connection, this bond that not many are blessed to experience in their lifetime. There is something there, something strong, something powerful. I just fear, especially after tonight & my break down, that his heart had changed towards me. And all because I have had so much pain inflicted on me from so many & tonight, my heart just couldn't take another blow. No food, no money for food, no home, family who could help but chooses to go on vacation after vacation or just take out their anger on us because we thought it best to give someone who doesn't have too much longer a life outside developmental walls.... there's so much that's going Heather & it all leads back to me being nothing but a burden to the only person who has shown me & my family any kind of true compassion. .... I'm scared he hates me now & that he's having doubts & I'm scared, no terrified that whether or not he decides to stay & love me, that things will only continue to get worse. I have no one to talk to, I have no one to help. I shouldn't be burdening you with this either. I'm sorry for wasting the time it took for you to read this. Good night Heather & Happy Thanksgiving I hope you & yours have a wonderful celebration.

November 28, 2013
11/28, 3:24pm

Dear Heather,

11/28, 3:38pm

Dear heather, I am sorry for the long & over dramatized letter. I feel really bad about going over the top with you & the few others who had messaged me last night. The stress of everything has finally gotten to me & I ended up sounding like a crazy person when I replied to any messages I received last night. I'm not like this, I also hope you understand that. What you saw when we first met is who I am, no gimmicks, no secrets, what you see is what you get. As far as my rant about Greg, I was afraid, because it was the first time he's ever seen me like that, that I may have pushed him away. So as I was replying to you my mind was so focused on him it just ended up coming out in the email instead of what I intended. I hope you can forgive me for going completely ape shit & I hope you still want us to come down in Jan for that night or two. I still would like to give you & Megan your Christmas gifts of a trail ride & hopefully a little something more.

Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry for being so over dramatic (but I guess things like that happen when one cracks from so much strain) & I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Sincerely, ~Dana

November 29, 2013
11/29, 11:22am

Hey Heather, So I was just wondering what's been going on with you. I mean I've been feeling like you have been harboring some hard feelings. Yesterday was pretty much what confirmed it when Megan said that I had written you a nasty letter, which isn't at all true. I re-read the emails & no where in them was I expressing anything that could be taken as nasty. In fact I did send you an email yesterday apologizing for my rambling because I felt bad that I unloaded all sorts of stuff on you.

I would really appreciate it if you would talk to me about this instead of harboring whatever feelings you may have towards me. I would really like to know what I did or perhaps said to make you & Megan ( I got the feeling that Megan didn't like me from the get ) so upset with me. Does it have anything to do with Greg? Or the fact that we are together & serious about each other? Or is it something I did or said that made you so upset? All I want is the truth. Greg is really torn about this & so am I. If it has something to do with Greg, then I especially feel I have the right to know. I don't want him to feel that he has to choose or keep us separated whether its physically or through conversation or in any other way. I love him very much & his happiness means more to me then my own. I don't want to push anyone out & I don't want him to be the one in the middle that is being tugged at. I will break it off with him before it gets to that point. In no way am I blaming you for it so please don't take it as that. I just want to know what's going on & why I'm getting this feeling of rejection. I honestly don't understand any of it & it only seems to be getting worse. Eventually, I'm afraid that its going to get so bad that I will be shoved aside when he takes a trip to see you. I don't want that, I want to be able to go with him & enjoy spending time with both him, you and your sister. I don't mind giving space, but there is a difference between giving space & being unwelcomed which is what I feel I am. Besides, as I said before I will break-up with him before things get that bad, if they aren't already. It's not fair to me & it's really not fair to him. I know Megan already inquired about me going on the 14th. I wanted too, but I am going to pass because I don't need Greg to feel the tension on the night of his last performance.

I don't know what else I can say except maybe I'm sorry for whatever it is I've done to cause you and Megan to dislike me. What I do know is that I am not willing to put Greg through this any longer nor am I willing to lie to him about any friendship we may or may not have. I'm making the first move to try and resolve what ever issue there maybe & to try to be the friends I thought we were. Just tell me what you think I should do, because I am at a loss.

I would really appreciate it if you could get back to me today, preferably before I go into work at 3.

Thanks Heather & I hope that I didn't offend you or anyone else in the letter because that wasn't my intention. My intention is to keep peace between two of Greg's best friends & his girlfriend ( me ).

Sincerely ~Dana

1/31, 12:48am

Dear Heather, (Please Hear Me Out)

I heard that you called Greg today & I'm happy that things were cleared up. I'm hoping that you & I could clear things up too. I would like to start by apologizing for everything that got out of hand. I really do like you & being that Greg is a big part of my life & you are his too, I would like to try to be friends. I would like to forget about everything that happened & just start over ... please? It would not only mean a lot to Greg, but to me too. You're such a sweet person & a fun person that I would like to do the things we planned, like go horse back riding, maybe do some hiking etc.

The only thing that I ask is that if either of us are harboring any kind of bad feelings, that we talk it out. Also, that we both come to the agreement that Greg & I, just like you & him, are a package deal. Meaning, we don't leave each other out but we include each other & accept that. I wouldn't be any kind of a gf if I didn't, especially since he's under so much stress right now. I don't want to see him hurt again. So do you think there is enough space for the both of us to love him & be an active part of his life while involving each other? Pretty please?

Sincerely, Still Your Friend, Dana-Marie

Ps. I would appreciate a reply, I can't promise that I will respond right away, but I would like to know that you at least got this email & that you read it.

2/3, 10:41am


Dear Heather,

I'm really trying to make amends, more so for Greg then myself because I love Greg & I don't want to see him torn between two people. It's not right, it's not fair, especially when we could all just be friends & forget this ever happened. I don't understand why or how this happened in the first place, but I am more then willing to forgive & forget. You & I both know that this is eventually going to
start putting more pressure on Greg & especially right now, he doesn't need that. He has his schooling he needs to worry about & a new job that he starts tomorrow. Honestly, this never should have happened in the first place or ended the way it did, but we can't change the past. However, we are in control of our futures.
He cares about you very much & he cares about me too & I'm sure knowing he has to keep two people whom he cares for a whole lot, apart because we can't just move on, is weighing him down. He's going to want both of us to be apart of the greatest moments of his life, the happiest moments of his life, but how can we if we can't even overcome this? It's like we're a bitter divorced couple who is tugging on each arm of the child. Eventually he is going tsnap & one, if not both, of us will be without him. I really don't want that to happen because I know it would destroy him. I love him way to much to see that happen Heather.

So please Heather, I'm not just asking, I'm begging you, for Greg's sake. Can we please talk this out, make amends & move on? I'm not asking for you "friend me" on fb, I'm simply asking that we figure something out for Greg's sake, not mine, Greg's.

Thanks a Bunch Heather ~Dana-Marie

Previous 10