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March 2016

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culoslap in loveadvice

Almost 10 years to the day...

I'll be seeing my first ex-girlfriend for the first time in almost ten years. She was invited to a party through a mutual friend who is in town. It ended in probably the worst, messiest and catastrophic way... for me. It's her fault and she knows that. I won't get into it but I do know that it will be awkward no matter how long it's been. I'm dreadful of the "who's more successful now" dance. I already know my life has ended up quite well. I've accomplished so much. In those ten years, I graduated from college, got a great job, in the best physical shape of my life and traveled the world and around it quite literally. The way things are going, I see my life getting even better in the future. While I don't have a girlfriend, I don't feel like I need to give her any information regarding that. It's hard to find someone that wants to travel the world like I do but I'll take a trip and forget all about it.

I'm propbably making it out to be more that it will be. We'll probably only greet and not speak again until one leaves. However it ends up, this coming weekend I'll be in Guadalajara, Mexico overlooking Lake Chapala and enjoying some awesome Mexican food and drink while relaxing. I've said it many times on my Twitter account that life is pretty damn good for me.



Sorry if I'm confused by your post, but are you looking for advice about this? I am having trouble finding a point or goal to your posting here, if you could clarify what kind of advice you are looking for that would be helpful!

Hello Salem

Hello. I guess I would ask what you would do in this situation? I went to the party and she didn't even want to look at me. She kept her head down like she knew I was still scarred. It was as expected. We said but only 5 words to each other the whole night and seems that even ten years can't ease the pain of the past.

Re: Hello Salem

Well there's not much you can do with things already come and gone. With how messy things were, are you really so surprised you barely spoke? It's clear you still hurt over what happened, so it's likely nothing very positive could have come out of it, unless she was going to lead with an apology, but that tends to be very awkward party conversation also. I know I personally would not be able to be that bold, even if I felt like I really owed someone an apology.

Some people say time heals all wounds. That can be true, but you have to take care of your wounds too. Perhaps you were hoping for some kind of closure? If there's one very difficult thing I've learned, it's that sometimes you can't get that closure through other people, sometimes it can only be found in yourself. If you're not fully healed yet, it might be worth exploring that in whatever way you feel comfortable. Unless you feel like something good could come out of reaching out to your ex to get closure you may need. In the end, you know yourself better than I do, so I can only give a few suggestions based on personal experience! I have a few exes who wish not to communicate with me; I don't know their reasons, but I try to respect them regardless.

Good luck!